FEMALE EMERGENCE AND CORRUPT ATTITUDES
BY A UK BROTHER
Assalamu’alaykum
As divorces rise and Muslimahs are alienated by their male family members due to the shame of divorce, an increasing number of them are arguing that in order to survive (and provide for their children) they need to have studied in higher education and established a career before marriage.
Without this, they argue they struggle to make ends meet and are reliant on minimal state benefits in Darul Harb. They evidence this state through anecdotes.
They argue that scholars have failed to consider how many divorced Muslimahs and mothers there are, and hence a general ban on emerging from the home is ill-considered.
I have presented counter responses below, and I’d appreciate any additions from your perspective.
(i) They enter in to marriage on the premise that the marriage could end in divorce due to the husband’s bad behaviour.
As we know, Allah Ta’ala treats his/her slave according to expectations. So there is no conundrum that if divorce is countenanced before Nikah, then this becomes the outcome.
(ii) These “strong independent” women pretend that they have no agency in Islam to have their prospective husband thoroughly vetted before they consent to marry. If a man or woman selects poorly, why is this not the issue that’s addressed? They want to address the consequences rather than the issue.
(iii) Rizq is preordained as per Qur’an and Ahadith. If a male or female adopts Taqwa and Tawakkul, what is preordained will reach them with ease. Death will not come until every preordained cent or grain has been received.
(iv) Most Muslims forget the general principle in the Qur’an: “Wicked women are for wicked men, and wicked men are for wicked women. And virtuous women are for virtuous men, and virtuous men are for virtuous women.” (Qur’an 24:26).
Muslims, in light of this verse, should consider their own conduct prior to marriage. If they want a spouse with Taqwa, then their own behaviour needs to be of a certain standard. If they found their partner on campus, or they were dating, seeing or conversing before Nikah, that’s a clear proof of lack of Taqwa. Hence “wicked men are for wicked women.”
(v) In many cases, the conflation of essential needs with wants has led to the notion that post-divorce a woman must have a career outside the home.
(vi) They also fail to realise that in exceptional circumstances, a woman may emerge from the home to fulfil her needs. But these career women, driven by money, never refer to the Ulama-e-Haq to determine when and how they should emerge. They become jurists in their own right and each of them subjectively determines when the “need to emerge” arises. They automatically dispel the notion of earning an income from home as unfeasible.
(vi) Hardship is the domain of this dunya, otherwise it would be Jannah. If female (or male) were to adopt Taqwa, Sabar and Tawakkul, Allah Ta’ala would make a way for their rizq to reach them without rubbing shoulders with kuffar males who thirst after women in the public domain.
This life is transitory. All hardships come to an end in the blink of an eye, and with Taqwa, the reward in the Aakhirah is unimaginable.
(vii) No man (or woman) is perfect. In this era expecting anywhere near perfection is a deception. Before pushing for a divorce, a woman must consider the repercussions and balance the benefits of sabar in marriage with single life and exposure of her modesty in Darul Harb.
(viii) When there is an absolute need to emerge for work, how many of these divorcees look for a job close to home and emerge in full niqab? This in itself is proof that their “concern for a halal earning” is nothing but a guise to maximise their earning potential.
We acknowledge that there are rare cases where a good woman was divorced and has tried every other avenue before emerging from her home in full niqab to work close to home to earn for her needs (not wants). There is no sleight on such women. We make Du’a that Allah Ta’ala finds such women pious husbands that will take care of them and their kids.
Muslim communities should also prioritise such women for Sadaqah and potentially Zakat too, in order to protect them from having to emerge and work alongside kuffar men.
In such circumstances, there is absolutely no shame in taking the money. It’s only pride that constrains such a woman and hence the argument: “I need to emerge from home so that I’m not dependent on others.”
14 Muharram 1447 – 10 July 2025